Pay it Forward

On the surface, Doug and De Mario are an unlikely pair. Doug is 26…De Mario is 12.  Doug is white… De Mario is black.  Doug is a cop…De Mario is an inner-city kid whose father is in prison, and whose brother is in jail.  Yet despite their differences, they’ve become pals.

Doug Silk met De Mario shortly after moving to town.  De Mario was a lonely fifth grader who needed someone he could talk to…someone to look up to…someone to be his friend.  Doug came here to become a Kansas City police officer.  He didn’t know many people and had some extra time, so he contacted Big Brothers/Big Sisters about becoming a mentor. 

It was easy for Doug to understand De Mario’s sense of loneliness, because he endured similar feelings when he was a kid.  Doug’s father left when he was only four and several years later his mother suffered a nervous breakdown. Doug was sent to a group home for children at the age of eleven.  He felt lost and abandoned, and began to wonder if anybody really cared.

A counselor encouraged Doug to check out Big Brothers/Big Sisters, which he did.  He was soon matched with an energetic, 24-year-old college student named Dan who had a quick smile and a big heart.  Doug says without a doubt, the experience changed his life.  Suddenly, he had someone he could talk to…a role model…someone he could trust.  His new Big Brother molded Doug, instilling in him a love of athletics, a determination to excel and a desire to help others.  They were together for seven years, until Doug finished high school.  The two became best friends, and still are to this day. 

Doug remained active in Big Brothers/Big Sisters, even after going away to college, only this time Doug became a Big Brother.  Doug founded a “First Mentors” program, matching student athletes from Florida Atlantic University with youngsters from an inner-city school.  Doug’s Little Brother got all A’s and B’s on his report card for the first time in his life. 

When Doug contacted Big Brothers/Big Sisters in Kansas City , De Mario’s profile stood out.  Doug says, “De Mario loves sports and is kind of small for his age, just like I was as a kid.  He has a great head on his shoulders and really cares about others.” 

The match has turned out great. Doug took De Mario to his first Royals game and down to Union Station for the first time in his life.   They try to do something together at least once a week.  “Sometimes we go shopping, sometimes we go swimming, other times we just hang out and talk.  He’s really a terrific kid.”   

Before they met, De Mario dreamed of becoming a professional basketball player when he grows up, but after getting to know Doug, De Mario says he wants to become a police officer instead.

De Mario gets excited when he talks about his Big Brother.  “Doug is cool.  He took me along to buy his new computer. Shopping with my mom, it’d be boring, but with him it’s fun.  Doug came to school to have lunch with me the other day and all the other kids were jealous.  He took me to the Police Academy and introduced me to his friends. I would never pick anybody else to be my Big Brother.”   Doug is one of nearly 600 Big Brothers/Big Sisters volunteers in the Kansas City area.